Put Your Hands in the Air for Chester A. Arthur. Meow!

I read an article exploring whether Obama should retake the oath. James "Chief Justice Roberts" Bond (it became so difficult to get riled up at the Republicans when Bush nominated such a foxy SCOTUS judge) fudged it a little - probably Johnny's nerves. And that day he missed Constitution 101 because he was hungover at Harvard. The article I was reading said that the only other presidents to have retaken the oath were Calvin Coolidge and Chester Arthur. Ok, cool, thanks Carolyn Lochhead of the SF Chronicle. WAIT! Hold the phone Carrie! Chester Arthur? I'm a pretty bright crayon, but Chester Arthur? I've never heard of that cat! And I just thought of the Cheshire Cat when I wrote that. Here's a picture of C.C. trying to get all up in my business, something about my outfit. I told him to back off. Speaking of outfit, Cheshire, is that a body suit you're wearing? Natural stripes?

Anyway, I went on to the new WhiteHouse.gov website to learn about my past presidents, and learned so much! Not only was Chester an all-around bad ass, but he had side whiskers. Does that remind you of anyone? Look up! Arthur succeeded Garfield, who everyone knows got eaten by a shark (or shot by an embittered attorney who had sought a consular post, whatever). And get this, Garfield is also a cat! I don't like Garfield. He's actually a very smug cat than Jon should have "accidentally" run over in his driveway by now, so he doesn't make it into the blog. I'm sure you're familiar though - think tabby. I totally dig this White House Presidents website. It's a total glorification of our Presidents, but I'm fine with that. If the White House doesn't glorify history (and forget history, as the last eight years have demonstrated), who will? For example, the authors couldn't get out of speaking to Clinton's run in with a cigar because of its history-in-the-making implications, so this is how they put it: "In 1998, as a result of issues surrounding personal indiscretions with a young woman White House intern, Clinton was the second U.S. president to be impeached by the House of Representatives." I need to talk to these crackerjack writers. There's so much heat packed into that sentence. It's awesome!

I think I should talk about Chester now. Look at him! What whiskers! Apparently he was a fashionista, and a no nonsense dude. Here are some other accomplishments before and during his dark horse presidency (I know you use it to describe unexpected Pres. nominations, but I think the shoe fits).

- Effectively marshalled the thousand Customs House employees under his supervision on behalf of Roscoe Conkling's Stalwart Republican machine. In 1878 President Hayes, attempting to reform the Customs House, ousted Arthur. Conkling and his followers tried to win redress by fighting for the renomination of Grant at the 1880 Republican Convention. Failing, they reluctantly accepted the nomination of Arthur for the Vice Presidency. During his brief tenure as Vice President, Arthur stood firmly beside Conkling in his patronage struggle against President Garfield. But when Arthur succeeded to the Presidency, he was eager to prove himself above machine politics.

- Became a man of fashion in his garb and associates, and often was seen with the elite of Washington, New York, and Newport. To the indignation of the Stalwart Republicans, became, as President, a champion of civil service reform. Public pressure, heightened by the assassination of Garfield, forced an unwieldy Congress to heed the President.

- Enacted the first general Federal immigration law. Arthur approved a measure in 1882 excluding paupers, criminals, and lunatics.

- Arthur demonstrated as President that he was above factions within the Republican Party, if indeed not above the party itself. Perhaps in part his reason was the well-kept secret he had known since a year after he succeeded to the Presidency, that he was suffering from a fatal kidney disease. He kept himself in the running for the Presidential nomination in 1884 in order not to appear that he feared defeat, but was not renominated, and died in 1886. Publisher Alexander K. McClure recalled, "No man ever entered the Presidency so profoundly and widely distrusted, and no one ever retired ... more generally respected."

Overall badass.

Other things I learned:
- John Roberts and Barack Obama both went to Harvard Law (at least someone wasn't taking a cat nap during Constitution 101).
- John Roberts looks like Steve Carrell at a 30% profile.
- Have they completed casting for the next James Bond movie? (I learned that that was a question I have).
- Roberts is Roman-CATholic.
- Roberts had a seizure at his vaCATion home in 2007 and went on mediCATtion.
- I did NOT know this: President Bush worked to improve healthcare and modernize Medicare, providing the first-ever prescription drug benefit for seniors; increase homeownership, especially among minorities; conserve our environment; and increase military strength, pay, and benefits. Is it opposite day?